Desperate
by Annunruthiel
Summary: Minyahiriel's heart is unknowingly broken by Aragorn. She travels to Mirkwood to find her luck there. But she will find something else there far from luck... *Chapter 7 is up, finally* (Rape and suicide warning)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own LotR but Minyahiriel and Thalianto are mine…my own…oh whatever…  
  
  
  
1.1 Desperate  
  
2 Chapter one  
  
It occurred in the days when the Fellowship of the Ring had reached Rivendell. Minyahiriel, an Elven maiden from Rivendell, had fallen hopelessly in love with Aragorn son of Arathorn.  
  
It was the night after the counsil of Elrond. Arwen and Aragorn were out in the garden. Minyahiriel had been following Aragorn around ever since he arrived in Rivendell and she was spying on him too when he went out with Arwen. They were standing under a tree, holding each others hands. There was just an inch between their faces and they whispered softly to each other. Minyahiriel heard it all, for she had very good ears. The sweet, whispered words made her sick. She stood for a while, completely in shock. When Arwen and Aragorn kissed each other, she came back to her senses and ran for it. Out of the garden, into the hall, to the stairs, upstairs to her room. Minyahiriel locked herself up and grabbed a dagger from her table.  
  
'Why did this have to happen to me?' she thought.  
  
Desperately, she tried to suicide by cutting her wrists. One slash, two slashes, tree, four. But it didn't help, due to her Elven healing abilities. Blood poured from her arms for several minutes and then it stopped. Minyahiriel started sobbing hysterically, and cried herself to sleep.  
  
  
  
The morning sun shone on Minyahiriels face. In the garden, birds were singing loudly. Minyahiriel woke up, and wondered why on earth she was feeling so miserable, and why her robes were drenched with blood. She looked around and found the blood stained dagger lying next to her.  
  
'Curious', she thought 'what the hell happened to me last night?'  
  
Minyahiriel walked towards the window. As she opened the window the sleeves of her robes fell back and she saw the scars on her wrists, red and swollen. When she peered outside, she saw Arwen and Aragorn walking in the garden again, hand in hand, and the memories of the past night came back.  
  
'I've got to get out of this place, I can't bear to see the two of them together.' She said to herself. 'I'll go and pack my stuff. By nightfall, I'll be gone.'  
  
She took a map from her drawers and looked for a place to go to.  
  
'Mirkwood! That's it! I'm going to Mirkwood. I don't want to see Aragorn ever again, and I guess I'll forget him easier in Mirkwood.' She said to herself. 'Rivendell isn't a place for me, especially not with Arwen and Aragorn hanging around.'  
  
She checked her room for stuff that could turn out useful when she would be on her way to Mirkwood. She took an extra pair of clothes, Lembas, her bow and a couple of arrows, her dagger, and a few bottles of water.  
  
'That'll do.' She thought. 'Even if it doesn't, I don't care, I don't mind dying on my way, I intended to kill myself yesterday, so……I'm lucky I'm still alive.'  
  
  
  
By nightfall Minyahiriel went for her horse. She led him out of Rivendell carefully, hoping that no one would notice her. Then she mounted her horse and rode out into the night. After a few paces she turned her head for the last time.  
  
'Farewell, Estel, I love you, but your bound to Arwen and……well…… so be it.' She whispered  
  
As the moon rose, she headed for the Misty Mountains.  
  
'Well, there we go.' She said to her horse, and she heaved a sigh. 


	2. chapter 2

1 Disclaimer: I don't own LotR, yaddayaddayadda…..  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4  
  
5 Chapter two  
  
Minyahriel rode on all night, over hills, through a small forest, and so on. At crack of dawn she reached the edge of the forest. She found a good place to rest, and stopped. She dismounted her horse and lay down on the ground, wrapped in her cloak. Her horse wandered off as Minyahiriel fell asleep with her eyes wide open, as she always did. She slept soundless until nightfall.  
  
  
  
She woke up and had a little breakfast. It was getting dark and depressing thoughts overwhelmed her. Thoughts about Aragorn, about why her parents had abandoned her when she was young, why she never had been happy or even been able to laugh. Minyahiriel threw her piece of Lembas away. The scars on her wrists were aching. She wanted to cut herself again. She took her dagger and slashed her wrists. Once again, blood poured from her arms onto the ground. She sat there for a while, thinking. Then she got up and washed the blood from her hands and the bloodstains from the dagger in a little stream close to where she had slept.  
  
Minyahiriel mounted her horse again and went towards the Misty Mountains. She passed over the mountains in a couple of days and without any trouble. When she had come down the mountains she decided to follow the Old Forest road. For some strange reason unknown to Minyahiriel the place was swarming with orcs. She passed the orcs on a small distance, and they didn't notice her. She turned her head, wondering whether they were following her or not. Luckily, they weren't. She turned her head to face the road again and the branch of a tree cut across her face. She swore loudly.  
  
'Aw! Dammit!'  
  
Suddenly she found the road blocked by the orcs.  
  
'Uh, oh…' she murmured.  
  
One of the orcs got hold of her horse. He shouldn't have done that.  
  
'Let go of my horse, you goddessdammitmotherfuckingsonofabitch!!!!!!' she yelled.  
  
She grabbed her bow and shot an arrow right between the orc's eyes. He was dead before he hit the ground. The other orcs tried to run for it, and six more orcs got killed by Minyahiriel, whom was cursing loudly.  
  
She spurred her horse and they speeded away like a bolt of lightning. As they left the orcs even further behind, she reined her horse in and her heartbeat slowed down.  
  
'Wow, seven orcs killed, very good!' she panted. 'They'll think twice before they attack an innocent elf again'  
  
Her horse snorted in response. Minyahiriel patted him.  
  
'Time for a break, my dear' she said after a while. It had become light again, and the sun rose steadily in the east. 'Let's have some sleep.' 


	3. chapter 3

1 Disclaimer: I don't own LotR, so don't flame me.  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4 Chapter three  
  
When Minyahiriel woke up, she noticed that she had slept far too long. The waxing moon was already setting.  
  
'Whatever', she thought. 'I'll just ride on until sunrise and then we'll stop, or not……depends on the distance. We shall see.'  
  
Minyahiriel rode on for an our or so and she could see Mirkwood already, dimly lit by the moon and stars.  
  
'Look', she told her horse, 'our new home! Isn't it beautiful? I think we will be there at sunrise.'  
  
Minyahiriel rode on silently for a couple of hours. As they finally entered Mirkwood the sun rose above the forest. It was dark and creepy inside. Minyahiriel felt a little bit scared. There was no sign that anyone lived in this forest, it was so silent. Suddenly Minyahiriel heard the bushes on her right ripple. She reined her horse in. She looked around and listened hard, but everything was silent again. As she rode on, a suspicious voice behind her said;  
  
'Looking for something?'  
  
Minyahiriel turned her head. Behind her stood an elf. He was stunningly pretty. He had curly blond hair and green eyes. Those eyes……she thought for a split second that it was desire in his eyes…or was it just her?  
  
'Hello?' he called. 'Lle quena i'lambe tel' Eldalie?' [1]  
  
'…Mani?' she muttered. 'Ya naa lle?'[2]  
  
'Amin essa naa Thalianto' [3] , he replied. 'Who are you what brings you to the forest of Mirkwood?'  
  
'Well, my name is Minyahiriel. I'm from Imladris. What brings me here? That's a good question indeed……just put it this way, I fled from Imladris in the hope to start a new life here.'  
  
'Hmmmm……I see…' He fell silent for a while, apparently thinking hard. 'D'you want to come with me? I'll show you our community.'  
  
'That'd be great! Thanks! I'm lucky you found me, you know. If I hadn't met you, I would still be riding around here for a couple of days before I found someone.'  
  
'Well, come on then! Follow me!' With those words he walked away.  
  
Minyahiriel followed Thalianto for a while in silence. It was Thalianto who finally broke the silence.  
  
'May I ask why you fled from Imladris? According to what I've heard, it seems a great place to me.'  
  
'Actually, it is a great place, it's really beautiful, but……well……everything there reminded me of things in my past that I don't want to remember, you see?'  
  
'What kind of things?'  
  
'Goddess, you're curious!'  
  
'Is that a bad thing?'  
  
'Not really. But I don't think I'm ready to tell you… I just don't want to think about it now, you understand?'  
  
'Yeah, it doesn't matter' he said. 'So……How was your journey?'  
  
'It was ok. Lonely, but peaceful. Nothing happened. Oh, wait, it did. I've met some orcs on the Old Forest Road.'  
  
'What happened?'  
  
'I killed them.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
They fell silent once more and they walked on for a couple of minutes. Suddenly the trees were standing less close together and they reached a clearing.  
  
'This is it. I guess you haven't got anywhere to stay so……you can move in with me. I mean, until we have found a place for you to live.' Thalianto said.  
  
'Well?' he asked  
  
'I think I'll move in with you for a while, if it's ok with you.'  
  
'Sure. That's why I offered it to you!'  
  
Thalianto led Minyahiriel to his house. Except that house wasn't the right word for it. It was built in a tree and had no walls, except for one, that could be moved to where ever the wind came from. There was just a single table in the middle of the room. Minyahiriel felt at home immediately. It was so unlike Imladris!  
  
  
  
'What do you think?' he asked  
  
'It's great! Finally a place that feels like home to me.' She replied enthusiastically.  
  
  
  
The next morning Minyahiriel woke up, blinked and looked around. Thalianto was already awake. He was eying her with great interest from the other side of the landing.  
  
'Quel amrun! [4] Have you slept well?' he asked  
  
'Yes, thank you.'  
  
'Why do you sleep with your eyes wide open?'  
  
'Do I?'  
  
'Yes you do.'  
  
'Curious…I didn't know.'  
  
'Well, you know now.'  
  
'Yeah, I suppose so… What a conversation.'  
  
'Yes, indeed', he laughed.  
  
'Oh, before I forget, is there some place where I can take a bath or some thing?' Minyahiriel asked  
  
'Of course! There's a pool near. I'll show you.'  
  
'Ok, thanks.'  
  
Thalianto climbed down the tree and Minyahiriel followed him. After five minutes they reached the pool. Minyahiriels horse, Dinquarë was drinking from the clear water. The pool was surrounded by little boulders, covered in moss. Minyahiriel hung her cloak in the lower branches of a tree and started to undress. Thalianto was still watching her with great interest. It made Minyahiriel feel slightly uncomfortable.  
  
'Uhm…sorry…but, are you going to leave me alone anytime soon?' Minyahiriel asked  
  
'Oh, sorry! Of course…' Thalianto turned around and walked away. When he reached the trees he glanced back and said; 'If you need anything, let me know, ok?'  
  
'I'll be fine, thanks.'  
  
When he was gone she hung her robes in the tree too and jumped into the water with a splash. Minyahiriel examined her wrists. The scars were still there, but no longer red and swollen. She hadn't cut herself ever since she entered Mirkwood. When Minyahiriel had finished bathing she got dressed and walked towards Thalianto's house. She passed a group of chatting Elvish maidens. One of them glanced at Minyahiriel and said excitedly:  
  
'That's her! She must be the one whom Thalianto was talking about!' she stepped towards Minyahiriel and introduced herself. 'My name is Maikadelothiel. What's your name?'  
  
'My name is Minyahiriel.'  
  
The other girls introduced themselves too.  
  
'My name is Nurernilwen and that's Carnëdurien.'  
  
'Nice to meet you' Minyahiriel said  
  
'Hey Minyahiriel, are you coming to our party tonight?' Carnëdurien asked  
  
'Of course!' Minyahiriel Replied  
  
'Great, it'll be fun! We also invited a couple of guys from Lothlorien, they're hot!' Maikadelothiel giggled  
  
'What are you guys going to wear?' Nurernilwen asked  
  
'Well, actually, I haven't brought any clothes along but these..' Minyahiriel said  
  
'Hmm…you can't wear these. Come with me, I'll borrow you some proper robes.' Maikadelothiel Said  
  
Maikadelothiel grabbed Minyahiriel's hand and led her towards her house. They spent the whole afternoon trying on Maikadelothiel's dresses. By nightfall they went to the party together. Minyahiriel wore deep blue robes that matched her eyes perfectly.  
  
'You look stunning! You're going to turn heads tonight, you are.' Said Maikadelothiel  
  
'If you say so…'  
  
  
  
[1] = Do you speak Elvish?  
  
[2] = Who are you?  
  
[3] = My name is Thalianto.  
  
[4] = Good morning. 


	4. chapter 4

1 Disclaimer: read previous chapters  
  
2  
  
3 Chapter four  
  
As they entered the party Maikadelothiel turned out to be right. All heads were turned in Minyahiriels direction. Minyahiriel looked around and she saw that Thalianto was watching her eagerly. She didn't pay much attention to it. Minyahiriel had a great time at the party. She met many new people and danced with a few of the cute guys from Lothlorien were Maikadelothiel had been talking about. She was just talking to an exceptionally cute one. He had tall blonde hair and transparent blue eyes, in which you could drown. His name was Carëtirion. Thalianto walked towards Minyahiriel and asked;  
  
'Can I have this dance?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Why not?'  
  
'Just kidding. Of course you can.'  
  
Talianto walked to the dancefloor and Minyahiriel followed him. He grabbed her hands and pressed her body gently against his own. They danced around slowly for a while and Thalianto whispered softly in Minyahiriel's ear.  
  
'Wanna go for a night time stroll?'  
  
Minyahiriel nodded and they went outside. As they were walking Minyahiriel looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful clear evening, the stars were bright and the moon rode at her peak. When they had walked through the forest for a while they reached a clearing. Thalianto stood in front of Minyahiriel and stroke her face. He looked at her in the strange way he had done when they first met. So it was desire, but maybe desire wasn't the right word. Hunger, it was definitely hunger in his eyes, nothing more, nothing less. He whispered to her in the high-elves language.  
  
'Narlyë anvanya…' [5]  
  
He kissed her like a guy could never kiss a girl before. After a while he broke the kiss and panted:  
  
'Aniron lle, Minyahiriel…' [6]  
  
'Amin uuma merna sina…' [7]  
  
His hands ran over her body, touching her everywhere. His hands shook as he tried to unfasten her dress, but Minyahiriel grabbed his hands and said in a harsh voice:  
  
'Thalianto…don't…'  
  
'Still playing hard to get, are you?' he replied  
  
'No, I mean it!'  
  
Thalianto lifted her and pushed her against a tree, kissing her once more. Minyahiriel put up a struggle, but Thalianto pushed her on the ground, tearing her robes from her body. Minyahiriel closed her eyes in terror as Thalianto started to undress himself too. She opened her eyes with a yelp as he came in her. Thalianto tried to stifle her screams by putting his hand on her mouth.  
  
'Stop it, you're hurting me!' Minyahiriel said, trying to fight Thalianto off.  
  
'Shut up, you nasty elf, I can tell you like this!' he said  
  
As Minyahiriel bit his hand he punched her on the head and she lost conscious.  
  
4  
  
When Minyahiriel woke up it was still dark. Thalianto lay next to her on the grass, snoring satisfied, arms around her. Minyahiriel looked around. Suddenly she remembered the events of the past night and became aware of the fact that the elf whom was lying next to her just had raped her. She felt disgusted, betrayed and used and could only think of one thing: how to get out of here without him noticing.  
  
Minyahiriel's hands shook violently as she grabbed Thalinto's arms and lay them next to him. Only the very sight of him made her furious and she even considered kicking him or scratch his face open but she didn't dare to. With one last frightened glance she grabbed her robes and fled away. When she passed Thalianto's house she climbed up, fetched her bag and jumped down the tree.  
  
She ran to the pool where she had taken a bath the previous day and found her horse there. Minyahriel jumped on his back, spurred him and they speeded away. She rode south-west all night at top speed. At the crack of dawn she still rode on, not able to think and not wanting to drown in her emotions. All she wanted to do is wash herself, rid her body of Thalianto's smell….It was past noon when she reached the river Anduin.  
  
Minyahiriel reined her horse in, threw her robes aside and jumped into the water. She washed herself several times, but it didn't help. The feeling didn't go away. After a while Minyahiriel gave up and went out of the water. She threw her cloak around her body and huddled under a tree where her bag lay. She sat there for a while and when she finally realized what had happened she burst into tears. She was overwhelmed by desperate feelings and she took her dagger from her bag.  
  
As she slashed her wrists, emotions flooded through her. Betrayal, fear, hate and grief, but the worst thing was the unbearable shame that she hadn't been able to fight him off. The tears ran her over her cheeks like a waterfall. She sat there till the sky started to grow dark. Suddenly she fell silent while tears still poured down her face and listened hard. Speaking of waterfalls…Minyahiriel heard the rushing noise of a waterfall not far away. Slowly she stood up, hesitating. Then the desperate elf mounted her horse and rode towards the waterfall. At the edge of it she dismounted and said goodbye to her horse. She was no longer hesitating, but now determined to end her misery.  
  
'Farewell Dinqaëre, my faithful horse. I will miss you. Go back to Imladris, they will take care of you there.' Minyahiriel said, as she kissed her horse on the forehead.  
  
Then she wheeled around and threw herself headfirst from the waterfall.  
  
[5] = You're the most beautiful  
  
[6] = I want you, Minyahiriel  
  
[7] = I don't want this. 


	5. chapter five

1 Disclaimer: I don't own LotR, but I do own Minyahiriel, Thalianto and Carëtirion.  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4 Chapter five  
  
Carëtirion sat at the western banks of the Anduin, his back against a tree- trunk. The sun shone on his face, the wind ruffled through his loose blond hair and he stretched out and yawned lazily. He had been dreaming about that girl he had met at the party in Mirkwood two days ago.  
  
What was her name again…? I don't remember, was it something with an M in it? Ah well, it didn't matter…she seemed to be with that other elf… But she was so damn beautiful…I can't help it.  
  
Blinking against the sunlight he opened his blue eyes and looked around. Suddenly he spotted something floating down the river. Something in blue robes…  
  
'What the…?'  
  
He looked more closely. It was a body, an elven body… Quickly he jumped into the water and grabbed the unconscious body. As he waded out of the river he turned the body on it's back and looked at the face of the elf.  
  
'Minyahiriel!' he cried out, remembering her name suddenly  
  
He lay his head on her chest and listened hard. Her heart was still pounding, but it was a really weak sound.  
  
'Hang on Minyahiriel, don't give in now, please!'  
  
She spluttered and coughed and spat out some water, but she did not open her eyes. Carëtirion lifted her and carried her to his house in Lothlórien not far away. At home he lay her down on his bed and tried to heal her.  
  
'Hlasta beth nin. Tolo dan nan galad.' [7]  
  
Nothing happened. Carëtirion sat by Minyahiriel's side day and night. He was really concerned about her. She was having nightmares all the time, but she didn't wake up. She just muttered frightened words with her eyes wide open. Carëtirion couldn't make anything up out of her whispering, but every time when she dreamed her talking grew louder and more frightened. He wondered what on earth could've happened to her what made her so scared. It went on like that for several days. Carëtirion became so weary from staying awake at Minyahiriel's side that he decided to lie down for a while.  
  
The following morning he woke up and looked at Minyahiriel. She was staring at the ceiling with a blank expression on her face.  
  
'Minyahiriel…? Minyahiriel!'  
  
No answer.  
  
Carëtirion closed her eyes gently. He turned around to open a window. As he turned back, Minyahiriel opened her eyes in terror, started to stir feebly and yelled:  
  
'Noooooo! Thalianto, don't, don't do this to me! Stop it, you're hurting me, please, Thalianto!'  
  
Carëtirion grabbed her shoulders and shook her softly, while whispering comforting words to her.  
  
'Minyahiriel, it's okay, I'm here, you don't need to be afraid anymore…'  
  
And finally Minyahiriel woke up. She blinked and looked at Carëtirion in surprise. Then she recognized him.  
  
'Carëtirion! Where am I? What happened? Were is he? Don't let him hurt me, please!' Minyahiriel seized his hands.  
  
'Shhhh…it's okay, I won't let anyone hurt you, whoever it is. Go easy, I'm with you now…'  
  
He embraced her and she lay her head in the crook of his neck. Then she started to cry uncontrollably.  
  
'Oh Minyahiriel, sweet Minyahiriel, what happened to you? Tell me, please…I can't bear to see you so sad…is there anything I can do for you?'  
  
Minyahiriel did not reply, she merely cried.  
  
After a while she fell silent. Carëtirion was still rocking her like a little child. Suddenly he heard his stomach rumble. He realized he hadn't eaten for days.  
  
'Minyahiriel?'  
  
'Yes?'  
  
'Are you hungry? I am, so I thought…well you haven't eaten in days and so have I. Shall we go and eat something?'  
  
'Would be nice…I am indeed quite hungry.'  
  
Carëtirion rose from the bed and Minyahiriel tried to do so too. As she stood up she fell down immediately. Instead of hitting the ground two soft arms helped her on her feet again. It was obvious that Minyahiriel hadn't fully recovered. Carëtirion lifted her and carried her towards his kitchen. As she sat down on a chair Carëtirion asked:  
  
'So…what would you like to eat, Arwenamin?' [8]  
  
'Uhm…what are you going to eat?'  
  
'Just bread, I guess…'  
  
'Then I would like some bread too, please.'  
  
'Alright. Wait a minute, I'll get it for you.'  
  
'Thank you.'  
  
'You don't have to be so polite, I'm just a friend.' He said, laughing.  
  
'Okay.'  
  
They sat for a while in silence during their meal. Carëtirion looked at Minyahiriel. He was dying to know what happened to her, but he didn't ask.  
  
She doesn't look like she is ready to relive it all over again by telling me. Actually, I don't know anything about her, except for a few things she told me at the party. That she was born in Imladris, but what she was doing in Mirkwood I don't know. I haven't talked to her long enough to ask. Why was that again? Oh, right, that guy took her for a dance and after that she had disappeared. Was that guy the Thalianto she had been having nightmares about? Maybe…probably I'd say…What did he did to her? Well, I'll only find out if I ask…but not now…  
  
Under while, Minyahiriel was thinking too.  
  
Should I tell him? I mean, I've mentioned Thalianto's name…he'll be wondering…but… I do not want to tell him now, I just can't…I don't even want to think about it myself…oh goddess, it was so terrible…don't think about it, no…think about something else…how the hell did I survive that fall from that waterfall? I don't know…how did Carëtirion find me anyway? I'll ask him some other time…but not now…  
  
'Hey Minyahiriel, uhm…do you want to go to bed again, or do you want to do anything else? I mean…just say it if you want anything, okay?'  
  
'Well, I think I'll go to bed, I'm kind of tired, so…'  
  
'That's okay.'  
  
Carëtirion took her in his arms gently and carried her towards the bedroom. As Minyahiriel lay down, she tried to sleep, but she couldn't. Carëtirion left the room. After an hour he came back to check if Minyahiriel was sleeping. But she was still lying awake, with a slightly frightened look on her face.  
  
'What's the matter? Can't you sleep?' Carëtirion asked.  
  
'No…' she replied  
  
'Why not?'  
  
'When I'll fall asleep I'll have nightmares again…and I don't want to…'  
  
'Is there anything I can do for you?'  
  
'Not really…or…will you please stay with me?'  
  
'Of course I will!' as he said so, he grabbed the chair in which he had sat when she was still in coma. After he had sat by her bed for a while, it seemed like she had finally fallen asleep, for he couldn't tell because her eyes were still open.  
  
'Minyahiriel?' he whispered.  
  
No response.  
  
She must've fallen asleep then. I think I'll have some sleep too. He lay down on the rug next to his bed and with a last glance at Minyahiriel he fell asleep.  
  
  
  
[7] Hear my voice, come back to the light.  
  
[8] My Lady 


	6. chapter 6

1.1 Chapter six  
  
A couple of days passed and Minyahiriel had regained her strength again. Carëtirion took her into the beautiful forest of Lothlórien. They walked around a couple of hours talking about their youth and stuff like that.  
  
'Well,' Minyahiriel said, 'I've never known my parents. I don't know whether they're dead, or whether they just abandoned me…nobody ever told me anything about it. I've been raised by a couple of maidens in Lord Elrond's palace. I had no family in Imladris, though Elrond's children always have been like brothers and sisters to me.'  
  
'That sucks, not even knowing who your parents were…'  
  
'Ah well, I've learned to live with it.'  
  
They had reached the top of an hill, on which you could oversee the whole forest of Lothlórien.  
  
Minyahiriel held her breath.  
  
'Wow, it is so beautiful here…'  
  
'That's why I've taken you to this place, I knew you would like it.'  
  
They sat down and Minyahiriel looked around in amazement. A little butterfly came flying over Minyahiriel's head. She tried to catch it. Just then, the sleeves of her robes fell back. Scars were still running across her wrists. Carëtirion looked at it and gasped for breath. Minyahiriel didn't notice.  
  
'Minyahiriel? What's that on your wrists?' he asked carefully  
  
Her face became overcasted.  
  
'You know,' he said 'tell me your whole story. Everything that has happened since you left Imladris. Please?'  
  
'Alright.' She said and she took a deep breath. 'Well, this man arrived in Imladris,' she began, referring to Aragorn 'and I fell hopelessly in love with him. But, he was uhm…dating Arwen Undomiel, you know. I was so disappointed that I tried to…suicide. Well, that didn't work, of course, due to our healing abilities. So I fled from Imladris and I went to Mirkwood. On my way I had a little riot with a couple of orcs, but that didn't matter. Once I entered the forest Thalianto found me. I moved in with him.' She said in a dull voice. 'The day after, I went to that party and met you. Thalianto asked me to dance with him. I did so and after a while he asked me whether I fancied a night time stroll…  
  
I went out wit him into the forest. Suddenly he grabbed me and wanted to make out with me, but I didn't want to…and then…he…' she couldn't continue, she couldn't tell him, the memories were still to fresh on her mind.  
  
'What did he do to you?' Carëtirion asked in a soft voice  
  
'He…h-he raped me.'  
  
'Oh my goddess, no!' He stood up quickly. 'What a bastard, wait till I get that asshole! I'll burn him alive, I'm going to rip his heart out of him damned body with my bare hands!' he yelled.  
  
Minyahiriel got up too and grabbed Carëtirion's shoulders.  
  
'Calm down, I haven't even finished my story yet.'  
  
'Sorry, I just…that whole Thalianto thing made me so angry…'  
  
'It's okay…now where was I…? Oh, right…Well just after that…incident, I fled towards the river Anduin, and, and…I threw myself from a waterfall…. You must've found me right after that…'  
  
'………' he opened his mouth to say something, but apparently he couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
  
  
Silence.  
  
  
  
'You still haven't told me why you slashed your wrists.' He said  
  
'I did tell you. Because of my misery and because I wanted to suicide.'  
  
'Oh, yeah…' You could've figured that out yourself, you git. He said to himself. 'You must've been through a hell…'  
  
He took a good look at Minyahiriel.  
  
She is so beautiful, but she looks so sorrowful…I wish I could do anything to cheer her up, I love her…what the…? Do I? The only thing he could answer himself was 'yes'. Tell her, go on…But…just do it!  
  
'Minyahiriel?' she looked up at him.  
  
'Yes?'  
  
'I love you.'  
  
She looked at him suspiciously. 'No you don't! You're just saying that because you feel sorry for me, you don't mean it, it can't be tr…'  
  
Before she could even finish her sentence Carëtirion pressed his lips against her own. Sooner then Minyahiriel expected, and even wanted, he pulled back gently.  
  
'There. Is that enough evidence?'  
  
'Perhaps.'  
  
'Perhaps?'  
  
'Yes perhaps. Just like you write it. Do I have to spell it for you?' she said teasingly  
  
'I know how you spell perhaps. But why?'  
  
'I dunno…do it again, please, maybe I will know then.'  
  
He smiled broadly. 'All right…if I have to…'  
  
'You don't have to…'  
  
'But I do want to…'  
  
'Well, hurry up then, I haven't got ag…'  
  
They kissed again. This moment was beyond description, and it seemed to last forever. There was no sun and no moon for them, just Minyahiriel and Carëtirion, he and she, tangled in a breathtaking kiss.  
  
The sun started to set and they still sat on the hilltop. After the sun had disappeared behind the forest the first stars appeared in the sky. It was a bright night, but rather cold.  
  
'Carëtirion?'  
  
'Yes, my love?'  
  
'It's cold here…'  
  
'Wait I'll get you a blanket.' He opened the bag which he had been carrying around all day and pulled two blankets out of it.  
  
'How about staying the night here?' he asked 'The night is so beautiful…and we can watch the sunset… the sunset is really amazing from this point.'  
  
'I'd love it, but…is it going to get any colder? I mean, it is cold here.'  
  
'I will keep you warm then.'  
  
'Deal.'  
  
Carëtirion lay down and Minyahiriel did the same, letting her head rest on his chest. He held her in the circle of his arms, making a mental note that he would never, ever let her go.  
  
  
  
The morning had broken and beams of sunlight shone on Minyahiriel's face. Carëtirion was already awake. He had been watching Minyahiriel sleep for a while. Somewhere in the distance, a bird was singing loudly. He looked around, and then back at Minyahiriel and realized something.  
  
  
  
Her eyes were closed.  
  
  
  
Her eyes are closed! Would she be…nay, she's still breathing…but…how? She probably knows my intentions are good, and feels safe with me… Hurray! He smiled. She looks so sweet…  
  
He lifted one of his hands, which were wrapped around her, and stroked her tall, dark hair.  
  
1.1.1 Minyahiriel, you are so pretty…your dark hair…your white skin…your face, formed in beauty…  
  
He let a finger ran over her face and placed a kiss on her forehead. 


	7. chapter 7

1.1  
  
1.2 Disclaimer: the songs I've used aren't mine. I've borrowed them from Within Temptation, to my opinion the best Rock band in the world.  
  
1.3  
  
1.4  
  
1.5 Chapter seven  
  
'What time is it already?' Minyahiriel asked sleepily  
  
'It's just after sunrise…'  
  
Minyahiriel yawned and stirred. I haven't slept so well ever since I left Imladris. He is cute, but I doubt whether he is being true about loving me and stuff…well, I guess I'm just a little suspicious…  
  
After breakfast they headed for home. As they walked down the hill, she heard Carëtirion sing a song.  
  
'I made a promise to revenche her soul in time. I'll make them bleed down at my feet!'  
  
Was he referring to Thalianto or something? However, it made Minyahiriel laugh. The ever sweet and gentle Carëtirion singing a song like that? There was definitely something wrong about this picture…  
  
'Carëtirion? What is this song you're singing?'  
  
'It's a song of my own invention…do you like it?'  
  
'Are you referring to the me-Thalianto thingy?'  
  
'Uhuh…'  
  
'I like it…but I do not like the thought of you killing him…I don't want you to become a murderer just because of that piece of shit!'  
  
'Don't worry…I wont do anything you don't agree with…besides, I don't even know what the guy looks like.'  
  
'Oh I can tell you…he's got-'  
  
'You really do hate him, don't you? Well, it's not surprising after what he did to you.'  
  
'No, most certainly not. Every single day I wake up I feel the unbearable shame, and my wrath towards him. And it's not nice at all, I can tell you that.'  
  
'You shouldn't feel ashamed, he should. If he ever crosses my path I'll make him pay dearly for his deeds, trust me.'  
  
As Minyahiriel grabbed Carëtirion tight he felt her tremble slightly, but she didn't cry.  
  
She is such a strong person. After all that she's been through, she doesn't even cry. I really admire her.  
  
Minyahiriel broke the hug and looked Carëtirion in the eye. He smiled at her and she smiled back weakly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they continued their walk home. When they finally got home, the sun was already sinking behind the trees of Lothlórien.  
  
'Look how beautiful those golden beams of the sun illuminate the trees...' he said  
  
'You just wanted to flash a big word around…' Minyahiriel responded dryly  
  
'Don't be such a meanie…'  
  
At night they both lay in bed. Carëtirion in an attempt to sleep, and Minyahiriel slept. She shifted uncomfortably and let out a moan.  
  
She is probably having nightmares again…  
  
Suddenly, she bolted upright and woke with a start. A bewildered look appeared upon her face as she looked around. Carëtirion grabbed her hands, which were feeling all clammy.  
  
'I-I had a nightmare again…' she managed to stammer before she collapsed into his arms, crying.  
  
'Oh, poor little girl…you can weep, it's okay…' He started to sing softly.  
  
'Sweet darling, you worry too much. My dear, see the sadness in your eyes. You are not alone in life, although you might think that you are. So sorry your world is tumbling down. I'll watch you through these nights. Rest your head, and go to sleep, 'cause my dear…this is not the end.'  
  
By the time he had finished his song Minyahiriel had stopped crying, except for a little sob now and then.  
  
It was not until the crack of dawn before Minyahiriel dropped off again, and it was already past noon when she woke up again. Carëtirion was gone, so Minyahiriel got up and got herself some food. She gazed out of the kitchen-window into the garden. Carëtirion was sitting in a tree, singing, but she couldn't hear him.  
  
Suddenly, a blond girl showed up. Carëtirion jumped from the tree and talked to her. The girl said something back and they embraced. They talked some more and he kissed her.  
  
Minyahiriel was shocked. Again. Slowly she backed away from the window and turned around, not knowing what to do. She walked to the hall and grabbed a sword out of it. She girded the sword around her waist, walked through the door and slammed it shut. And then she walked away, into the forest.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
These are the darkest clouds, that have surrounded me  
  
Now I find myself alone, caught in a cage  
  
There's no flower I can find in here  
  
Not withering, not pale to me  
  
Everyone with a friendly face  
  
Seems to hide some secret inside  
  
He told me he loved me  
  
While he laughed in my face, he just let me astray  
  
He took my virtue  
  
I feel so cold inside  
  
Sorrow has frozen my mind  
  
My heart is covered, with thoughts entangled  
  
How could it ever have felt so real  
  
Is there a place more lonely than I feel within  
  
Could I have seen? Could I have known?  
  
I just took it as the truth  
  
Everyone with a friendly face  
  
Seems to hide some secret inside  
  
He told me he loved me  
  
While he laughed in my face, he just let me astray  
  
He took my virtue  
  
I feel so cold inside  
  
Sorrow has frozen my mind  
  
Always there to remind me  
  
It keeps me from believing  
  
That someone might be there  
  
Who'll free me and never ever leaves me  
  
He told me he loved me  
  
While he laughed in my face, he just let me astray  
  
He took my virtue  
  
I feel so cold inside  
  
Sorrow has frozen my mind  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
-In the meantime, in the garden:-  
  
'Wait here for a second, I heard something. Minyahiriel'll be up.'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
Carëtirion walked into the house, looking for Minyahiriel.  
  
'Minyahiriel? Where are you?'  
  
No answer came.  
  
He called her again. Still no response. The house was empty. Carëtirion's mind jumped to the sudden conclusion that the highly suspicious Minyahiriel must've seen him in the garden.  
  
'She saw me in the garden. Oh my goddess. I've got to find her!'  
  
With those thoughts he sprinted out of the house, and followed the road that headed for the forest.  
  
He looked for her for nearly an hour, and still, he could not find her. Then, around the corner of one  
  
of the windings that the path made he saw her, slouching through the fallen leaves, in the twilight of the trees.  
  
'Minyahiriel!'  
  
No answer.  
  
'Minyahiriel, please, listen to me!' he pleaded  
  
'Don't you come near me, you asshole!'  
  
'Just let me explain!'  
  
She wheeled around and drew her sword.  
  
'Look, I don't want to hear your lame excuses. I know perfectly well what I saw. And that was enough for me to figure you just used me.' She said calmly  
  
'But…'  
  
'Didn't you hear me? Get out of here!' she bellowed 'And if you don't…'  
  
Minyahiriel made a violent gesture with her sword.  
  
Carëtirion stopped trying to convince her. The truth would sound so stupid. It'd probably make her even more angry and call him a liar…  
  
'Fine!' he snapped 'I'll go away. I don't care.' But he did, so he left her with pain and fear in his heart, 'cause he felt like there was nothing he could do. So, he walked away.  
  
Minyahiriel stared after him until he had disappeared. And all of a sudden, a hand was placed upon her shoulder.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: yay, cliff hanger! Whose is that hand? You'll find out soon…I guess… 


End file.
